Posted by: davidbowerkingwood | November 1, 2021

A Husband’s Perspective on Building a Successful Christian Marriage.

A Strong Marriage Takes Hard Work by both Husband and Wife!

From the very beginning, God knew man would need help! In Genesis 1:18 and 21-24 it is written:

18 Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.”

21 So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep. While the man slept, the Lord God took out one of the man’s ribs and closed up the opening. 22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib, and he brought her to the man.

23 “At last!” the man exclaimed.

“This one is bone from my bone,
    and flesh from my flesh!
She will be called ‘woman,’
    because she was taken from ‘man.’”

24 This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

My wife and I have now been married for over 69 years and we still have a totally wonderful time together each and every day! God was absolutely right, life is so much better with her at my side!

We got married when she was 17 and I was 19; while there were some who said the marriage wouldn’t last, we’ve beat the odds and are still very happily married to each other! While it’s true, our marriage is successful and happy, it has taken work, patience, and understanding on both our parts.

During my reflections on marriage, I though back on an essay I had written “The Painted Veil That Hides Reality” In the fourth paragraph I wrote:

“The heart of the movie can possibly be reduced to one line spoken by Dr. Walter Fane to his wife Kitty, “It was silly of us to look for qualities in each other that we never had.” To some degree, each had come into their marriage with preconceived notions of how it would be and how the other would respond. This, of course, is the never ending challenge to young couples entering into marriage; separating fantasy from reality.”

While I had graduated from high school by that time, I had never received any instructions on how to make a marriage work or even the least bit of advice on what it would take to build a successful marriage. I was lonely and in love, what more did I need?

Although I was not really conscious of it, I had a secret weapon working behind the scenes in my life; as a born-again Christian young man, God, the Holy Spirit was interceding for me “with groanings that cannot be expressed in words.” I have written more on this in a seven part series that starts with, “Once Upon a Time I was a Little Boy”

I’m still amazed that my wife’s father would even consider letting his daughter marry someone like me; I was living alone in a furnished room, which they had helped me find, and wanted to be a professional musician. Talk about being a very unlikely candidate for a secure, lasting marriage, it would certainly appear I was at the top of that list!

By God’s grace and with the help of my secret weapon and a loving, patient wife, the marriage has been a great success!

What a Husband Should Do

There is a Biblical reference to marriage in Epheisans 5:21-33 that has served as my guide to my responsibilities as a Christian husband for many years:

21 And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

22 For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. 23 For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. 24 As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything.

25 For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her 26 to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. 27 He did this to present her to himself as a glorious church without a spot or wrinkle or any other blemish. Instead, she will be holy and without fault. 28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself. 29 No one hates his own body but feeds and cares for it, just as Christ cares for the church. 30 And we are members of his body.

31 As the Scriptures say, “A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.” 32 This is a great mystery, but it is an illustration of the way Christ and the church are one. 33 So again I say, each man must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.”

God’s plan is for the husband to be the spiritual leader in the family and to love his wife as he loves himself! Jesus Christ’s love for the church is the benchmark that should be followed! The husband is responsible for the wife’s spiritual development and must serve as a helper and guide for her spiritual growth.

While the husband must love his wife as he loves himself, the wife must respect her husband! It is interesting to note the Greek word for love used in verse 25 is the agape love described in 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 as something you do!

A Christian husband should provide a stable home and income for his wife and children. It is the husband’s responsibility to care for the physical needs of his family as well as the spiritual needs!

Next time, living with the fact you’re different.


  1. Amen! I have always thanked the Lord for the example that you and mom have given all of us of biblical marriage relationship ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks. We have been married for 63 years. It is good to read about marriages!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Congratulations on 63 years of marriage; a wonderful blessing from the Lord!


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